I’m Not a ‘Girls Girl’ and I’m Not a ‘Boys Girl’ Either; Here’s Why.

Growing up, I have been constantly the victim of gender stereotypes. When I wanted to play with Hot Wheels Cars, I was bought Barbie’s for Christmas – not that that denotes the memories I had associated with the Barbie. I wanted to play AFL with the rest of the boys at school, but unfortunately, my presence of a vagina meant that I was ineligible to participate. Instead, I channelled my energy through the handball tournaments at school, managing to reign number one handballer for two entire terms; the focus was not on my obviously superior handball skills however – it was on my sex. 

Elementary examples perhaps, but these nonetheless demonstrate the strict dichotomy of gender and sex that has been reproducing itself since our very childhoods. A damaging concept to those who do not necessarily fit either criteria, yet we still perpetrate these structures, sometimes proudly.

The concept of a ‘Girls Girl’ and a ‘Boys Girl’ is one such example of this perpetration; they are forms of identity that are so incredibly nuanced, yet still act in producing and circulating the binary-gender system. In her article ’23 Signs You Are Definitely Not A Girls Girl’, N. Koh highlights the things that makes her inextricably different to other girls; that is, her choice of beer over other ‘girly’ beverages; shames females into allegedly being only interested in ‘cats, unicorns, flowers, lipstick, [and] shopping’; and implies that apparently, in order to be a functioning woman, you need to be able to paint your nails.

Koh implies that the female gender is one that is inextricably shallow, consumed by their physical appearance, and incapable of being invested in any moderately important worldly issue. Rather, Koh’s value as a person lies in the fact that she possesses archetypically masculine traits. This damaging perception of both the female and male body needs to stop.

I do not intend to shame Koh; rather, these ideas are productive in understanding the strict conditioning surrounding gender roles that all humans have had since birth. We should not be shaming people into performing their sex in particular ways in order to be perceived as a legitimate member of that very sex. Perhaps the emphasis should not be on whether I possess typically feminine or masculine traits that define me as a Girls Girl or a Boys Girl. Perhaps I am just a ‘Tea drinking-punk listening-cinnamon appreciating-Science Fiction fanaticperpetually day dreaming Girl’; an appreciator of not ones sex, but their mind.


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